🥁 The OffBeat #77: Networking in the Key of Authenticity

A music-inflected take on how to network in a non-ugh way

This is The OffBeat, from jazz drummer, two-decade marketing leader, and mom of two Allison Stadd: music-inspired answers for your leadership challenges, like how to get in the “swing” of things with these 12 favorite team-building exercises.

Every other edition of The OffBeat is a think piece structured like a jam session in jazz (naming the tune—a punchy idea; soloing—exploring different takes on a central theme; outro—a thought-provoking closer).

Ohhhh, networking.

That word really leaves teeth marks, doesn’t it?

It’s like, you’re either a) intimidated by networking because it doesn’t come naturally to you, or b) you’re resentful that you have to invest in yet another energy and time suck when you’re already up to your ears in those, or c) you’re theoretically up for it but don’t know where/how to start, or d) you lost your networking mojo as you’ve gotten more senior, more jaded, or else when COVID introduced virtual work and events, or e) some blend of all of that.

Here’s my perspective.

As with most things, when we consider the music-oriented angle of networking, i.e. leveraging music as a way into the concept, the picture improves.

Here are a few ways music helps me think about networking in a non-gross, non-time-consuming way:

1. Find your career wingperson, a.k.a. the bass to your drums

It may not be a coincidence that I married a bass player. Drums and bass are critical partners in a band.

The drummer and bassist work together to establish the groove of a song. The drummer provides the rhythm and accents; the bass fills in the harmonic structure and reinforces the beat.

When drums and bass are locked in, the whole band feels tight; when they’re off, everything feels disconnected.

Many iconic drummers played with equally iconic bass players. Think of:

• John Bonham & John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin)

• Stewart Copeland & Sting (The Police)

• Clyde Stubblefield & Bootsy Collins (James Brown)

• Tony Williams & Ron Carter (Miles Davis Quintet)

Find your bass player partner equivalent, someone in a similar professional stage as you who can do three things: 1) hold you accountable for your career goals, 2) open their rolodex to you, and 3) get your name on relevant radars (in exchange for all the same in return).

2. Play with variations on a theme to make “chatting” easier

Jazz is all about repeating themes. The music thrives on taking a theme, repeating it, and transforming it through improvisation.

So do the same with networking. Figure out a few storylines and perfect them, honing new facets and polishing new perspectives depending on the setting. That way you don’t have to blank-brain panic when introducing yourself or keeping a conversation going. Use your themes as a reliable home base the way jazz musicians do.

Three good starter themes—craft a succinct way to speak to each:

1. Your “career journey”: the professional path that got you to where you are today

2. What you do for a living: the work you do, and why

3. What lights you up outside of work: what makes you, you

Related OffBeat reading:

The OffBeat #24: Identifying Your Career "Jazz Standards"

3. Stop thinking so much

Take it from iconic jazz saxophonist Charlie Parker:

“You’ve got to learn your instrument, then, you practice, practice, practice. And then, when you finally get up there on the bandstand, forget all that and just wail.”

Train intensively, then surrender. You know your instrument. Trust your experience, your instincts, and your natural disposition to serve you in forming and maintaining professional relationships.

Don’t forget, humans are inherently social creatures. We need each other. And being open to uncertainty is critical for mental well-being, so if you’re nervous or unsure, that’s actually good for you.

Ultimately, this is all about authenticity.

There is no such thing as a legitimately good piece of music that wasn’t expressed authentically by the musicians. Similarly, networking feels less crappy, and leads to more genuine relationships, when you approach it authentically.

Find someone to keep you company, tap into comfortable narrative themes, and take the pressure off.

Have a great week,

Allison

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