The OffBeat #35: Identifying Your "Glimmers"
The opposite of triggers
Psychotherapist Deb Dana coined the term “glimmers” to refer to micro-moments of joy that provide a sense of inner peace. They’re the opposite of triggers; they calm your central nervous system by easing your mind. Triggers signal a potential threat. Glimmers cue safety.
Glimmers, like triggers, are unique to everyone. They could be anything from the smell of clean laundry to drying off in the sun after swimming; from your dog’s yawn to a warm, plooshy everything bagel.
They’re effective in the moment but, more importantly, as they accumulate over time they can help you develop a less overactive nervous system. When you’re consistently coming from a place of regulation, you can show up as your best self for everyone in your life.
Glimmers live in the same zip code as meaningful moments or tiny joyful gestures. The difference is that the bar is a little lower—I don’t expect to encounter a deep, rings-your-soul-like-a-gong experience more than a dozen times a year, whereas you can catch glimmers frequently throughout your day if you’re open to them; and glimmers require no effort—they exist to be discovered, like a cheerful scavenger hunt crafted just for you.
Just as it’s worth being in tune with your triggers—signals that remind you of something stressful, stimuli that prompt a trauma response—it’s a valuable exercise to start paying attention to glimmers.
I’ve found after 3 years of hybrid work, workplace triggers can be thrown into more stark relief than when I worked in an office full-time. The coworker whose collaboration style reminds you of a former terrible boss, or the strain of watch-your-back politics that reeks of the abusive job you quit years ago—my friends, colleagues, and I all seem to have examples of how triggers feel heightened in a virtual environment, maybe because there’s more space for imagination. When you don’t have to face people on the other side of a conference room table, or wash your hands next to them in the bathroom every day, it’s easier to make up stories that inflame a small psychological cue into a powerful trigger.
All the more reason to consider this glimmers idea. Keep your senses open to tiny moments of awe that evoke inner calm, whether you’re working remotely or not. From Deb Dana in Refinery 29:
If you’re having trouble finding glimmers yourself, Dana says to remember that glimmers are all around us. They’re the clouds shaped like hearts, they’re the sidewalk chalk that someone left behind, they’re the last cookie in the cookie jar. Be aware, be patient, and better yet, be open. “If we can just be open to the experience of seeing one, finding one, feeling one — whatever it's going to be — they will appear,” she says. “Your body is built with the capacity to find glimmers. It just is.”
Workplace examples of glimmers: seeing an email pop up from a coworker you love working with but haven’t crossed paths with in a while; discovering a new Slack emoji that makes you laugh; hearing an old favorite song come on at the office. All that glimmers is, in this case, gold.
Have a great week,
Allison